some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
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I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
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Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
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