He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
