I hate your face
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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