we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
