I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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