think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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