I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
