I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
