Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
