I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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