We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
