Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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