my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
