I wanna bring you to show and tell
that's an acceptable place to lick
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize