before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize