check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
