I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
