The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
