Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
