Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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