So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
