i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
