I have demons in me.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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