WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
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I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
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The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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