she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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