I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
