All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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