did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
