goodnight i made you a song goodbye
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
