i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
