i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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