last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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