Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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