i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
