I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
