you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
