So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
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STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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