he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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