how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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