its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
