is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
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you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
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he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.