Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize