She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
What a dumb baby whore.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.