yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
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I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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