There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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