I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
