U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
