you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I need a beard to bite.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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