I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
