I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
