ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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