unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
