dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
