so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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