he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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