Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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