we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Your cock deserves a montage
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
