JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
