I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
