I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Acid is not a monday night drug
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
