I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
