sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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