You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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