What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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